Meet Nitro

Meet Nitro

I know, not a story about a horse.  NO, this is a story about my redemptive journey, through Nitro ~ to God.  It began in May of last year when I was out riding with my husband who is an avid horseman and I thought I could ride a horse just fine because I had always ridden a horse since I was young.  However, riding a horse as a spectator vs. operator are two very different prospects.  I have always been physically able to just go jump on a horse and ride it.  Now that I am 'older' I am more concerned with injuries; and this became obvious to my husband as we rode.  He told me I needed horse riding lessons.  I instantly removed myself from the horse and walked home.  When I arrived home, my husband had already made an appointment for my first lesson.  Needless to say, I was angry.

So when lesson day one arrived I said to myself, "No big deal, I'll just get through this and we will be done."  Well, guess what, I knew nothing about horses...AT ALL!!  God used the lessons to teach me some very essential truths.  These truths I am going to share with you on the next few blogs.  If you are interested in attending what I call "Women Facing Their Fears Day" at the farm...we will be scheduling another one this spring.  This day is all about YOU and your fears.  We set up a shooting range, a horse range and a self-esteem range..have lunch in the machine shed and call it a day.

LESSON 1:  I MATTER

I learned that as my life changes (children are gone, menopause, retirement) I needed something predictable ... something I could control.
So the trainer--LeAnn--said to me, go get Nitro.  I had my halter and lead rope in hand and I went into the stall where Nitro was and he immediately turned his butt to me.  LeAnn immediately came unglued and said NO, NO we will have none of that rude behavior.  Basically, she showed me that I am to become the most important person to Nitro and the minute I enter his stall, he is to show me respect.  WOW did that get my attention!!  I wanted to cry.
All my life, from childhood on, I have been that baby girl who (as the third girl) was seeking worth and validation from my dad.  My mom was expecting my younger brother just months after I was born and she was unable to lift me and carry me. So there are pictures of me rocking myself to sleep with a bonnet on, sleeping on my rocking horse.  Don't feel sorry for me...I'm just giving you background and childhood stuff I have worked through; and I pray you can identify with as a woman.  So, unknowingly to me, I have spent most my life seeking what only God can give me and that is the fact the I am God's daughter and HE delights in me.  I am worthy.  I am enough.  Read page 69 in Captivating and see if you relate to this.

LESSON 2:  PERSONAL SPACE

'The heaviness of NO boundaries'.
Once I was able to command Nitro's respect and put on his halter, I had to learn how to lead him.  Go figure...I've been leading horses for a while...but I learned that I've been doing it wrong.  LeAnn watched as I let Nitro 'snuggle' with me.  It feels good to have Nitro near me, and he likes to be near me--but what a 'disaster' that "lack of boundaries" sets up.
LeAnn explained; Nitro is a 1000 pound horse, he's not a lap dog.  Do you want him to come running to you if there is danger?  Get what God is saying to me?  Again, I wanted to cry.  Think of the 'weight' of lack of boundaries in relationships.

This lesson gave me -- ME -- back!!!

LESSON 3:  LEAN ON ME

This is the 'grooming' lesson.  LeAnn instructed; Start from the front, top and work your way down and back.  As you brush your horse, he relaxes, you relax and you two connect.
Picking up his feet -- hoof care -- I was instructed to NOT ALLOW Nitro to 'use me' to lean on.  If I allow this, this causes him to be off balance. Hmmmmm, off balance.  So, what you're saying is if I take his load (high functioning mommas--helicopter mommas) he becomes off balance?
I am instructed to allow him to balance ON HIS OWN, to balance his own weight while I lift his foot.

If I park myself in a position that "allows" Nitro to rest on me -- HE WILL!! So, don't allow yourself to be used.

It all depends on your position...where you 'park yourself'.

I can't explain the transforming power that has started in my heart at this point in my journey.  My heart began to be mended... I Praise God for Nitro....

There are 18 lessons; stay tuned.  

I would love to hear what you think.  Shoot me (ha ha, no pun intended) a comment.

Blessings to you!!