Nitro and Me...Partial Obedience

Nitro and Me...Partial Obedience

Living off balance most of my life I have become fervent in my pursuit of relationships...to a fault.  With the influx or lack of hormonal balance (ask my students/co-workers/husband) God has entered my thought life in a BIG way.  Today I would like to show you how, through a horse (Nitro), God has helped me conquer some of what you may be 'warring' against.

LESSON 4 -- I am safer when I am calm and close

When LeAnn had me lift Nitro's back legs, he had an issue with that.  One afternoon when I was 'doing my homework' and I went to lift his back leg; he kicked at me.  Instantly I became full of fear.  So, I moved away and avoided his back legs.  That fear set in fast and hard; it became larger and larger.  When LeAnn came for our next lesson and it was time for me to pick up his back leg I shared my homework experience and so she worked with Nitro and demonstrated how 'easy' it was.  Here were her lesson statements "Go with him" "Stay close".  She explained even if he were to kick at me, I put myself in more danger when I am further away.

"I am safer when I am calm and close"

When I am afraid I withdraw, recoil, and stiffen up.

In my relationships, I mimic this behavior.  Can you relate?  This behavior with Nitro, caused introspection as I relate to others and primarily how do I relate to God?

In the Sacred Marriage devotional book,  "If I stop receiving from God. I start demanding from others." Most of my life, my relational expectations were mostly defined by disappointments where I would be 'stung or kicked' and I would respond by withdrawing, recoiling, and stiffening up.  In this experience, I had to learn to move in close (feed this hunger that has manifested in this relationship with spiritual food) and go with Him.  God is revealing that if a human relationship is 'failing' thats the signal I am not being fed...I am not staying close...  Gary Thomas says it this way "Start defining disappointment with your spouse as spiritual hunger, a cosmic call to worship.  marriage is a wonderful institution, but it is limited.  It can't replace God. Don't ask it to."

LESSON 5 -- Opportunities to Succeed

Again, you would have thought I wouldn't be so surprised with the principle about giving Nitro opportunities to succeed, but that's what this lesson is about.  In the world of horse training, I understand that there are many theories.  There's the theory of "I'm in charge and it's gonna be my way or the highway...look out horse!!"  OR there's the theory that if you chose otherwise, it's just not as safe as it is to chose my way.  LeAnn taught me that Nitro is named Nitro for a reason.  He thinks like this..."Oh my goodness....just tell me what you want....oh my goodness...I'm afraid....oh, dear...that's different, that's fearful...."  He's always thinking 'how do I get this done, I'm so afraid, eminent doom'.  It's really funny, he's such an athletic guy, really muscular...but he's such a baby.  Very set is his ways.  If you did it a particular way last lesson and you change it .... look out!!  One lesson, LeAnn brought a lawn chair into the arena, Nitro was sure it was the end of the world for LeAnn to sit in that chair and give us instruction.

So here's the lesson.  If Nitro was in the arena and I was trying to catch him, as I approached him I make all kinds of extreme body movement and noise when he looks or moves in a way I do not want him to.  And when he chooses to look at me, ears forward, listening to me.....LeAnn would say to me to think 'strawberries and chocolate'  say to Nitro with those thoughts in my mind "good boy Nitro, Nitro...good boy".  So his choice between chaos and being safe is always being safe; and that is me.

He has to wholly and totally commit to me; not partially commit...or there is chaos....chaos I create.

For me; this relates to my partial obedience/ to be safe/always leads to future hardship eventually making my life more difficult.  Choose today whom you will serve (Joshua 24:15)...doesn't mean partially...My choice to serve partially, to stay safe, to recoil and withdraw always ended in chaos.

I rejoice in this journey with you...I pray this brings you to wholly serve Him.