Sharing, Accepting and Angels

LESSON 24--Sharing Nitro

We are piloting a new program for teens here at the farm called WHOA (Working Horses Overcoming Adversity).  We are working on funding for tack, if you are interested, you can use this link for more information http://www.gofundme.com/cpzapk.

Since we own 13 horses and many are not worked with on a regular basis my husband has a trainer coming out 5 days a week approximately 2 hours per day to help teens learn to work horses.  As these young people learn the basics of verbal commands with a horse, they gain confidence and apply biblical principles to their daily lives.  We are praying to teach the concept of saying 'Whoa' in life when things aren't going so well for teens, to get them out of the house, and into a more active life-style.

WHOA is in its early stages now (only 6 weeks) and we can see a difference in the three young ladies who have been the most dedicated to this new endeavor.  In the process, Nitro, Willow, Sugar and Jewels have been ridden by others.  It is a strange feeling to watch as someone else rides your horse.  I know this sounds small of me, but I know Nitro and he knows me and sharing him feels 'prickly'.  

The girls have all communicated similar feelings about their horses when others ride, but that is part of this program.  The girls have to 'train' the new recruits how to do ground work, saddle, put away the horse and clean the barn.

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Family has been down for a visit and again, it was all about sharing.  Nitro was  a champ ~ he welcomed the new riders.  
The picture above is Nitro with our 8 year old niece. 

I, on the other hand, was not so great.  Just a few days ago, a visitor was leading Nitro into the round pin and he his stirrup caught on the gate, pulling the fencing in around everyone in the round pin.  It was quite a moment, and I was entirely TOO verbal.  So verbal, I had to be asked to stop!

That rush of adrenaline and every thought came right out of my mouth, no filter.  It's as if I had no control of my flesh.  This was embarrassing (to say the least) and my husband did not respond to my verbal barrage -- Yay husband, Boo me.

From Sacred Marriage Devotional by Gary Thomas 

"If you've been working on an issue for years and the issue is one of annoyance rather than morality, Let it go."

My husband was in charge and had his own way in mind of doing the horseback ride this evening.  My brain had another way in mind.  (our 'for years' issue) I did the 'female approach' to stress and I tried to talk it out, thinking that talking it out always makes things better.  Only for women, for most men; 

"It's a biological fact that emotional conversation can feel very stressful and it actually increases his anger, particularly if that conversation gets pushed on him. Dr. Thomas suggests to 'stop talking'!  Give your husband's brain time to process the stress."

He continues saying 

"Different people have different quirks.  We married people with different backgrounds, different outlooks, and different personalities from ours ... Even so, at times these backgrounds, outlooks, or personalities may frustrate us, anger us, or inconvenience us, but if it's not sin, we can't demand change."  

Romans 15:7 'Accept one another, then just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.'

So, now for recovery after my blunder?  What do you do?  I processed and cried and processed ...

I ended up with this prayer to me -- these are lyrics from one of Michael O'Brien's CD -- I would pause the CD while driving to KC and then say the words into my phone recording the words, play the CD again, hit pause and say the words it into my phone.  (I know, you can get lyrics from any song easily, but for me ... my learning style, this is how I embed words into my being.  There is something about this process ... listening to your own voice ... playing it over and over ... hearing your emotion ... get the picture?)

When I was finished I had my prayer;

Let thy ways Lord be my compass
Let my heart be thine complete
Let my failures every trouble
Let my fears to thee release
Bless the feet where thou should lead me
Bless the hands that serve the King
Bless the voice singing Alleluia 
Bless me Lord I've been redeemed
Sovereign love has freed the captive
Joy and peace and hope abound
Be exalted God in mercy
Let thy glory be my crown
Let thy word Lord be my compass
Let my soul be thine to keep
Let my life dwell in thine's shadow
Let my faith still rest in thee

This prayer helped me accept that sometimes 'it just is what it is'.  I'm sometimes an over-the-top kinda gal and I pray my verbally vigilant behavior decreases over time and I follow the behavior of a dear friend who was present for the same event. Her response was to hug her Ipad and speak softly "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus" standing firm with her eyes open and praying. (Dear God, let that be me!!)

This same evening we were so blessed by this family.  As we sat around the fire pit, they sang hymns of praise and we were visited by a heavenly being, just there for a moment ... I felt the presence and saw the image out of the corner of my eye.  It left as I turned to look at it.  It was as if the singing had drawn it there ....  entertaining angels ....

Then to top that off, when it was time for this family to go home, they cleaned up the entire kitchen, washed dished, wiped down counter tops singing the entire time.  (I was looking for more dirty dishes to get them to stay!!)

What a blessing.