Fairness in Marriage

Just cleaned the kitchen, I mean it sparkles ... last night I spent a couple of hours fixing dinner, doing the dishes, and cleaning the stove, countertops, sink ... you get the picture?  The very next morning, husband is in the kitchen fixing a BIG breakfast.  He's cooking sausage, eggs, hash browns and I have to exit the room.

Does this ever happen in your life?  Where does your brain go when you walk back into a mess in the kitchen after you have spent hours cleaning it?

I am re-directing my thoughts in this area (or at least trying).  Looking for what to be thankful for in this situation can be difficult.

In the book 'Created to be His Help Meet' by Debi Pearl she is helping me see my design as wife through the eyes of our creator.  In her book she describes how men think and perceive us (women), all the way down to our smile.  She says a man can see a very unattractive woman and think she's beautiful just because of her bubbly personality and smile.

As I reflect on my life, when I walk into a room that is a mess -- I'm not smiling and bubbly ... you?

Debi Pearl says "...men do not repent for the sake of an angry, critical wife.  You can hold out for repentance and most likely lose ... Your husband is going to love what is lovely to him".

So I am praying to remember this as I clean up the kitchen this morning.  What I am thankful for is how my husband did take great care to place the dirty dishes near the dishwasher and put away all food items.

Debi continues saying "Many women think their husbands are not worth the effort.  They feel they are forced to humble themselves in order to love him when HE is the guilty party... Do not be deceived ..When a woman is willing to forgive she is winning more that just his affection.  Few women know what it means to be cherished by their husbands, but if you love him through this...you will be cherished.  Being cherished is much, much more than being loved.  It will be worth all your effort."

To be cherished ... hmmm

"God stands with you when you stand by your man, but you will stand alone if you insist on standing by your rights."

Ouch!!

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My new behaviors and thought process for 'next time';
When I see something that in my carnal mind looks and feels like my husband is intentionally 'messing' up what I've just cleaned up ...

*Okay, all my friends can laugh at the fact that I'm creating a list ...

Step 1) If I feel myself correcting, and getting angry -- physically move to another room, read the Bible.

Step 2)  Once I am in a better place mentally, return and intentionally think of things about the situation that I am thankful for in my husband.

Step 3)  Smile!! When I see him next ... don't begin to accuse or criticize because I now know I cannot be pitiful enough to force him to do ...

Step 4)  Return the area to cleanliness and order, thanking God I can physically do it and that I have been blessed with the resources necessary to have a home. 

Proverbs 15:15 "All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast."