To Be Known

What is it about 'Being Known'?  From my perspective, it is at the core of what I desire in marriage; to be known, vulnerable and then once you take that leap ... for 'that' person (the person you are) your heart and soul ~ to be loved, cherished and protected by your husband.  Now that is my heart's desire.

While reading Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge there are many key elements necessary in a girl's life as she is growing up that contribute to becoming a healthy, happy adult woman.  Some of these things we have learned as a little girl. 

"We learned what it meant to be feminine--and if we were feminine--while we were very young.  Women learn from their mothers what it means to be a woman, and from their fathers the value that a woman has--the value they have as a woman."

The key here is if 'a woman is comfortable with her own femininity, her beauty, her strength, then the chances are good that her daughter will be too.'

But the real answer to our primary question as a girl "Daddy, am I lovely? Am I captivating? Do you see me?" this is answered by our fathers.

To BE KNOWN is to be seen and and loved.  

"We need to know that our daddies are strong and will protect us; we need to know that our fathers are on our side.  The answer to our question we first find from our fathers." Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge

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Rest assured that our Heavenly Father 'sees' us as His daughter and His Beloved!  This I know, but my question is how much of what causes struggles in marriage relationships begin with our perceptions from childhood ~ as a woman and as a man.

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I know a man who has completely filled his daughter to the brim with adoration and validation throughout her life.  She is his only daughter, and his eyes light up anytime he is with her.  As a result, this girl has grown up to be a woman 'complete' in 'being known'.  That question has been asked and answered for her.

In the book Devotions for Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas one reading is about a husband and wife who get separated in France as they prepare to run a marathon.  When they finally find each other, the embrace brings tears to the woman. 

(It brought tears to my eyes when my husband read it.)

Gary talks about how our marriages can become sanctuaries, 'sheltering us' ... he talks about some of the struggles of marriage--

"how it's worth the pain, how it calls us to sacrifice, commitment, and so forth--but please, let's not forget the great joy and blessing of being known and being loved."

What a risk -- to be known, and this relationship of marriage.  It is ironic to me how the very thing we desire requires such vulnerability and trust that so few can experience it.  

(Hmmm, vulnerability and trust--just a thought--just like baby Jesus.  God ... vulnerable ... trusting ... if you enter into relationship ... if you risk ... if you sacrifice ... just a thought)

Especially those who have experienced hurt while in relationship.  Many marriages are 'at arms length', they look the part, but aren't quite there.  Then I know other married relationships who took the risk, and have experienced that deep trust in another person ... you can see it and feel it when you are with them.  

What a blessing.

Lord, heal the wounds that separate us from You and Being Known by our spouses.  It is Your desire, Your design that we bind our hearts with our husband/wife and find sanctuary in him/her.

Amen