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We interrupt this blog ... Well, it happened, I did not follow the instruction of my trainer and went to get in the saddle without proper ground work and Nitro decided to take a step forward just as I was in mid-air, swinging my right leg over his back.
You have to understand, LeAnn taught me to always be prepared for this and there was that moment...you know the moment when the still small voice speaks to you? Well, as I struggled to get my left foot in the stirup (lack of stretching), I heard it....I reached up to draw up the reins which was a BIG DEAL in training, and the voice said 'don't do it, something's not right'. Instead of listening, I went ahead and tried to mount Nitro.
As he took a step forward, I pulled back on the reins and He did NOT like that. So, he 'made sure' I did not make it on his back. I plummeted to the ground meeting the arena soil with first my lower left back and then....whiplash-like my neck, then head.
My husband was maybe 150 yards away saddling Rocky and all I could do was lay there trying to yell for help. I guess the air was knocked out of me, but when I turned to my side I could make a sound. I kept thinking, oh no....where is Nitro....there I lay helpless.
My husband came to my rescue, secured Nitro; helped me up and I had that surge of energy where I was not sure whether or not I was injured. I decided to just keep vertical the rest of the day. I did my best to ignore the pain, took some ibuprofen and went to bed.
The exciting part of this event in my life happened when I woke to my alarm for work, made myself get up; walked into the kitchen and then felt very strange. I said to myself 'Oh, no...this is not good' so I took a seat at our island and the next thing I know I am laying on the floor of the kitchen near our stairs in a puddle of blood and with a tooth fragment in my mouth.
Now, I have been sharing that on my life journey I am dealing with giving up control; retirement, aging, and children. So, you guessed it...I did not want to go to the emergency room, so we waited until my doctors office opened, went there for stitches (thinking that's all that is wrong; but NO), they sent us to urgent care, then they sent us to the ER.
Complete lack of control now overwhelms me ... for the first time, I cry in the waiting room of ER. I do not want to be here. I was handed a gown, they took blood, CT scans, IV.... you name it, they did it. My cut over my eyebrow had to have 9 stitches to close it and my poor husband has shot his day where he had planned to move cattle.
I wish I could share that my husband and I were glorious through this ordeal, but I can't. A friend of mine once told me that "When you are stressed, you regress" and boy was that true. Fear crept in and we were not the model married couple going through this event. I remembered from the book I'm reading "A long Obedience in the Same Direction" by Eugene Peterson where he shares that "we think that if we don't feel something there can be no authenticity in doing it. But the wisdom of God says something different:
that we can act ourselves into a new way of feeling much quicker than we can feel ourselves into a new way of acting."
As The Word shares event after event where the disciples were in prison and they chose to set their mind on Jesus, they praised Him through it all. This is how to change a feeling ~ not chase another 'feel good' event.
As of today, I am recovering from my fall, approaching a week of retirement/end-of-year events and praising God for my health and healing. As for Nitro; and getting back on him .... I remember after I had my first child and someone asked "so when are you going to have another baby" .... that's kinda how this situation sets with me. Gonna give it time; probably call LeAnn :-)
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