Amateur

The lesson of my week;

Saying 'NO' to what is offered/provided in this life is what we do when we do not give thanks in all things.

Genesis 3:1-7 (NIV) Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made.  He said to the woman, "Did God really say, 'You must not eat from any tree in the garden'?"  The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, 'You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.'""You will not certainly die," the serpent said to the woman.  "For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil."When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it.  She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.  Then the eyes of both of them were opened ...

So, Satan's marketing slogan is all about selling us that God withholds good from us.  If we follow this line of thinking (and sometimes I do this without knowing it) we are actually saying that we are discontent with what God has given us and we distrust him and you need what He has not given you.  

We basically are saying we want MORE; a fuller life.  We may take it even further (especially when you lose someone dear to you) from Ann Voskamp's 100 Gifts, she says 

"God basically stole what was rightfully mine or due me, when her baby sister died."  So she lived a 'NO' life, which is described above.

As I go through life I see how similar I am to Adam and Eve; 

ungrateful for what I am given.  

This is the source of my sin, 

not being satisfied in God and what he has provided.  

Ann continues describing how once we take that bite from the apple, we DO SEE, just as the serpent says.  We could already see as the garden was designed for a purpose.  The minute we sin (eat the apple) we do see, we see all of the bad, none of the good ... we judge and see what is lacking in that moment.  

Eating from that tree causes a chain reaction.  

1. Trying to be filled by eating 'the apple' actually empties us.  
2. It makes us desire more.  
3. It represents the materialistic world, to always have more to 'be full'.  

Whereas the world was not meant for that, it was meant for us as a way to commune with God.

'Gods purpose is to return us to our full glory. We have a choice to live in His fullness or we can stay in living in the loss since the fall or in God's grace.'  Ann Voskamp

Ann talks about discussing with her brother-in-law, who has lost 2 children, how to live in God's grace and to accept what God has given.  Ann just doesn't get it.  As they talk in the hospital room where his second child is dyeing ( he's 4 months old) he continues by referencing scripture in The Bible (2 Kings 20:1-4) where Hezekiah prayed to live 15 more years and God granted him this blessing.  Hezekiah then had a son Manasseh who was one of the most evil rulers in the bible.  Ann's brother-in-law says, he has often wondered why God granted Hezekiah's wish to live longer, because, if he had not; Manasseh would not have been born.  He then whispers to Ann 

"maybe, just maybe, we don't want to rewrite the story because you don't know how the story is going to end; only God does."

Look what I woke up to Sunday morning, roses from my husband placed on my bathtub.

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THE LESSON

My week following a car repair, included getting a rental for the duration of the repair.  I was driving into my bible study Thursday morning along 65 highway, headed south from Fair Grove, MO in heavy rain.  The gauges on the car all looked fine ... 31 miles left on this tank of gas ... so I only had 12 miles to get to the church and I drove on.  The car stopped running.  I pulled over along the highway (it's about 8:00 am) and fear set in.  

Have I shared that there are a couple of major fears I have; sharks, and being stranded along a highway when a stranger pulls over (a man) gets out of his vehicle and approaches my car (which is dead in the water).  This all happened ... I had NO control at this point ... 

This event was followed by a 'darkness' in the days following, I can't describe the feeling, but I was NOT accepting this with thanks that's for sure.  I wallowed in my lack of control, got a ride to my bible study and then to a friends house.  (Believe it or not, I was a living example of what we were learning in our lesson that morning--which only added fuel to the fire).
From here, I begged a ride to get my car which was repaired and then home.

It is four days since this event and my retirement has magnified my vulnerability as I grow in my faith.  With my teaching, I could rush past, fix and basically not think or feel for very long because I was "on" at school.  Now, without a schedule or distraction, I can marinate in being such an amateur at this 'giving thanks in all things' stuff.

I must say though, that the very minute I started giving thanks (just as Ann says in her book) the miracle did follow.  All heaviness was lifted ... Praise God.  I challenge you to 'name what you are thankful for, say it aloud or write it down'  Ann talks about how naming it is accepting God's blessing for it.  God is in that moment, time stands still when you stop and give thanks.

Thank you for the lesson Lord, I fire myself from the job of not trusting you and trying to control that which I cannot.