The One?
This blog is for those ladies out there that are either in a relationship, wanting a relationship or have just left a relationship with 'The One' man of their dreams. As I have said before, marriage failures I have a few...and there are a few things I have figured out through my failures...want to know?
Characteristics of a christian husband can primarily be found in Ephesians, Chapter 5 "Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church". But a husband can only cherish his spouse when his priority is to first love and obey God. So here they are;the ability to love, the strength to abstain from carnality, the power to act as the spiritual head of household, and the willingness to allow the Holy Spirit to lead in every area of life. (from www.christianet.com) So has he developed an intimate relationship with God with a foundation in The Word? Because as he spends time in The Word, he becomes equipped by God to be a godly mate. From Galatians 5, The Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, and meekness...ladies, look for these.
Well, some of the books I will reference (other then the Holy Bible of course) and recommend include Captivating, Sacred Marriage and The Five Love Languages. To my surprise and horror...that fluttery feeling you get when you meet a guy...you know, that way you feel when you are about to see him, or sit next to him (chemistry); well that is God designed for ... how do I say it .... to have babies. It IS NOT, I repeat NOT something that lasts ... it is called the honeymoon period. This is when absolutely nothing irritates you about him. You are designed this way!! So hold onto your hat; that is not how you KNOW he is THE ONE. Do you hear me??? .... Oh so many babies, oh so many divorces, oh so much destruction....
Want to know something else? You can prolong that feeling if you go outside God's design or 'create' that feeling if you affair. The entire set up of having an affair -- think about it -- allows all the honeymoon feelings to be reignited over and over with the hiding and deception that can become very addictive...the act of 'the affair' is more what this is about then the relationship with that guy you think is THE ONE.... So ladies with the house, the job, the kids and the very emotionally absent, busy husband...pay attention..you are very susceptible to this. Someone who pays you even the littlest bit of attention (because, guess what...you are looking good) will catch you off-guard and BAM you're thinking about him, arranging to 'see' him, even in innocent ways....
If you want another tip about a life-long choice....take some time to be with your male 'friend' and his mother. Hint hint....how he treats his mom is how he will treat you. AGAIN, did you hear me? Pay close attention to how he speaks to her, is he respectful; does he show his love, devotion, appreciation to her? How does he talk about her to you, to his friends? Listen to his words, watch his behavior....study him.
Another tip ladies; we are only as good as our daddy's have been emotionally available and loved us. If we have a gap....as I did....we will seek to fill that gap with men. We are seeking what we did not get as a little girl. If you read the book Captivating, there is a chapter that talks about how as a little girl she stood on the coffee table and twirled around in her dress asking her daddy..."daddy, do you think I'm pretty?"...and there you have it...
From Sacred Marriage..'Sometimes it's a good idea to stay at a thing." He describes a time when Al Pacino was attending a Frank Sinatra concert in the 1980s and when he arrive, he discovered the opening act featured Buddy Rich, a drummer. He was disappointed and was not looking forward to having to sit through his performance prior to Frank Sinatra. 'He sat mesmerized, confessing that Buddy Rich transcended what I thought he was gonna do tenfold.' Rich amazed the audience and when Frank Sinatra came out he said "You see this guy drumming? You know, sometimes it's a good idea to stay at a thing." Persevering in a marriage creates something that nothing else can match. A deep marriage takes time to build, as well as tremendous effort, but something about a love that has endured surpasses even the thrill of newly discovered affection and infatuation.
So, I hope this was a little helpful...
God bless.
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