Valentine's Day ~ Yuk

I am certain I'm not the only person reading this blog that gets that 'icky' feeling (where there used to be a secret sense of anticipation and excitement) as Valentine's Day approaches.

I'm not sure why ...

Is it that I'm older and all of that gift giving and romance stuff is behind me?

Is it that I understand now that cold hard fact that expectation kills relationships?

Am I that self centered?  Thinking I 'deserve' to 'get' something?

And how sad it is to let all of that go ... like when you found out there's no Santa Clause.

What a revelation ...

Then I know some ladies who can always count on that romantic gesture; a planned evening out, a bouquet of flowers or chocolates and I'm not sure living that life is any happier.

So what is it about this day and all the reminders going on all around me that triggers such a sadness?  

A gift ~ a noun.  A thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present.  

So my question is if it's just a repeat of 'this is what I do on Valentine's Day because I always have done this' 
Then I say it's not a gift, by definition...it's an obligation.

A gift thought process would go something like ... 'Oh I can't wait to surprise her/him with this because it's from my heart and I want them to know how much I am thinking/loving them'.  Now that's something willingly given, a true gift.

So how do you rest in knowing that when/if you do not receive anything, not a card, flowers, chocolates or even a word about this day, on this day, that your loved one still loves you?

You see marketing is doing its best work here.  Attaching a feeling with an activity, event or product ~ Valentine's Day.  

A woman who gets too caught up in romanticism runs the risk of riding the waves of emotions and feelings that are attached to whether or not this or that is done or not done by the other.

Gary Thomas says in Sacred Marriage;

"Marriage based on romanticism embraces an idealized lie (infatuation) and then divorces the reality once it presents itself.  Marriage based on life in Jesus Christ invites us to divorce the lie (an idealized view of our spouse) and embrace reality (two sinful people struggling to maintain a lifelong commitment.)"

So Lord help those whose hearts are hurt when thoughts and feelings are affected by days like Valentine's Day in a sad way.  Help us keep our focus vertical -- on You Lord -- and not be fooled (like Eve) that we need more and our spouse loves us less if we do not 'get' a gift this Valentine's Day.

Amen