In this post I would like to share some of the personal revelations from listening and personalizing the information from the book.
The desires of a woman's heart are;
To be Known
To be Needed (to know that that's the adventure and that the stuff you are made of is needed.)
To be Sought After
The heart of a man;
A Battle to be Fought
Adventure
Every Man Longs for a Beauty to Rescue
****
Now, think about your husband. As I think about mine, his concept of 'Adventure' is very different than mine. If you share a similar picture of adventure with your husband, you are fortunate. For my husband, as I have studied him lately, I see his adventure is here on the farm. He has 'projects'--I see adventure as sharing new places and environments -- travel. So I would suggest studying your man, not that I'm an expert or anything, but I do know that expectations in relationships kill relationships.
****
In the book, they describe creation as written in Genesis; "Eve was the crescendo in God's creation". Eve was the last thing God created, and with each creation--beauty became more and more--so what does that say about the beauty of women? The world was not complete until woman was created.
To get that in my heart ~ I am God's ultimate creation in beauty.
God created both man and woman in His likeness ~ this is important, because if the six characteristics listed above are in God's likeness, then when a man becomes irritated with a woman's need to communicate and be in relationship at a deeper level with their husband, this is a part of God's characteristic in woman--it is the 'Glory of God'.
There is a connection in God's heart only found through the woman's heart. To be known, To be Chosen, To be Sought, To be desired, To be Number One, To be Pursued.
Next, the authors discuss Eve's creation and the concept of 'Help Meet' and they try to translate the Greek work (Azar). to be a sustainer by his side ... (Azar) ... and how God is used in a life or death situation, when we are to call out for God, the Greek word (Azar) is used over and over.
To be a sustainer by his side.
Woman was the essence of God to create beauty.
This is how God intended for us to think about ourself -- the concept of 'Beauty'.
So what is 'Beauty'?
If a woman's essence is beauty.
If a male's essence is in movement.
This makes me wonder about hurt, confused women.
How many women have made the mistake of crossing over into male characteristics due to
not feeling worthy
or
not being seen
or
not being chosen
or
not feeling worth
because that's the essence of our heart.
In doing this they missed God's design of beauty, they missed this out of hurt.
If that's the heart of a woman, when those issues of our heart are deeply hurt or possibly completed by another female, how deceptive that becomes. As I understand these elements of our design, say their family was very male-dominated and the only time you received positive feedback or a sense of worth given to you by your father, was when you were working hard -- doing and producing as much as a man. You received that artificial 'praise' all little girls desire from their daddy and how that crosses over.
Satan has used this.
Man is a warrior--strength in action--on behalf of God, the maleness says "God will come through" that's the warrior in men.
God is on the move.
This is why a passive man is so unappealing because a passive man is saying "God will not come through".
Beauty's characteristics;
Peace
Invites
Nourishing
Offers Life
Comforts (flowers to hospitals)
Inspires
Transcendent (Is the most immediate experience of the eternal)
Contentment
Making Room
All is Well
All Shall Be Well
This is what its like to be with a woman who is comfortable with her beauty.
Being with a 'striving' woman is SO discerning to a man.
Ouch ...
Fallen Eve is described as a controlling woman. A woman who is always controlling, is a woman who is afraid of being known.
'Everything that does not come from faith is sin.'
It isn't a bad thing to be strong -- what they are saying is a woman who forfeits their femininity to be strong is going against God's design and you aren't living out your faith. When you are trying to control -- that characteristic is more masculine then feminine. There's nothing attractive about that in a woman. God designed woman to be tender and merciful which is the exact opposite.
Women learn from their mothers what it means to be feminine and they learn from their fathers their value.
What value you have as a woman ... you learn that from your father.
Think about all the women who grew up with fathers who did not value women. How that patterning in a girls brain affected how they thought about themselves as a woman ... that's huge.
If you had a dad who took the time to value you, consider yourself lucky.
My question is how to 'unprogram' that thinking for all others?
Childhood wounds -- you vow something in your head and heart -- not intentionally, but it's a deep-seeded message about our wounds. Like a verdict "Fine, if that's how it is, than that's how it is; and I will live my life in the following way..." Grit your teeth, pull your boots up by their bootstraps and get 'r done.
The book describes the author as she was growing up and the childhood messages given to her from her mother and father. Her mother shared with Staci that she was the fourth of four children and how much stress her birth brought to the already stressed family. Her father was absent from the family due to his job and when he was home he was absent--he was an alcoholic. His message to her was she was not lovely or valued. So Staci took on the role of not causing pain, not rocking the boat, becoming invisible.
In her adult life, conflict was a time she would become 'invisible' -- she would go hide in the closet. That was all she knew. Conflict would trigger that childhood hurt or wound.
She hid her needs, heart, true self, desires. She feared that she was not enough for her husband--being inadequate.
What was your 'unspoken, or spoken' childhood message from your mother and father?
How is that affecting your marriage?
No comments:
Post a Comment