In Which World is Your Life Centered?

What does it mean to be persistent in marriage and will that develop my faith?

Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

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While my husband was hunting with his brothers I was the farmhand 'tending' to the animals.  (I put quotes around the word 'tending' because my husband was wonderful about not overloading me with chores while he was gone.)  He is the farmer, not me!

While I had this gift of time alone with The Lord, I was wanting an answer to the question (Gary Thomas asks in Sacred Marriage)

"Around which world is your life centered?"

 "Your marriage will ultimately reveal the answer to that question"

Hmmm, my marriage .... 

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As a Christian, we believe in heaven, and that is where we will spend eternity.

Romans 2:7-8 "To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life.  But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger."

You see, I am a woman who has the unfortunate perspective about relationships created by failed marriages.  I struggle with feelings of insecurity and have to work diligently on the embedded concept that conflict leads to breakup, and breakup leads to excessive pain.

In marriage, there is going to be "the time of testing" and when Gary Thomas was researching 'What causes us to give up on our marriages?'  He found that 

"We thought marriage would be easy; when it gets hard, we bail out."

(My perspective) = Avoid conflict ~ Avoid pain

So is the answer to the question that my marriage shows that I am 'uncomfortable' in conflict, therefore I avoid conflict; and as a result, I forfeit the opportunity for spiritual growth that God could reveal to me if I persisted in my relational conflict? (All you grammar friends, that was probably a run-on sentence ... sorry)

Hmmm

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Living a very comfortable life means you can't think of anything that you want and couldn't get.   This would describe my life.  

'We can get lulled to sleep, thinking that life should be easy or that it will always be easy.  Once it gets a little difficult, we tend to become consumed with trying to make our lives comfortable again.  But by doing so we miss a great spiritual opportunity.' Gary Thomas

Our challenge in marriage is to ask ourselves when times get tough, "How do I keep loving this person in the face of this challenge?"

WHAT??  How do I keep loving this person IN CONFLICT??

You can guess it, of all the possible areas of challenges, a relational challenge is at the very bottom of my 'desired' challenges list.  

Emotional stability is my goal.  

But according the Dr. Thomas 

"If I'm in my marriage for emotional stability, it probably won't last long."

Ouch ...

According to Otto Piper "People dislike the fact that the blessings of God may only be found and enjoyed when they are persistently sought.  

AND

Marriage is, therefore, both a gift and a task to be accomplished."

So here is where -- in marriage -- I must persist.
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One more thought about troubled times in marriage.  Gary Thomas reminds us that 

"while few of us would (or even should) have the courage to willingly choose sorrow, when we find ourselves in it, if we quieted our souls down--if we learned to float in it rather than thrash about like a drowning emotional victim--we might find that it can be used to set us free."

This is -- in my opinion -- what Jennifer Rothschild meant in her blog this week when she discussed accepting an unwanted gift.  It's about our attitude, our perception during this time of trouble.  The goal should be finding contentment in having all our needs met, or none of our needs met (trouble or no trouble).  Remaining true to our faith in our lowest of low places.  (I'm thinking of Job in the Bible) Opening our hand to receive what He chooses to give in that moment.  Just as Jesus did when he prayed to take this cup from me, but Your will be done.

And this is where the HARD WORK happens.  Where the rubber meets the road.  The DOING part of marriage.

So what is the answer to the question in your marriage? In which world is your life centered? 

Eternity or 
Self