Pressure Release

Are You Creating Dependence?
Have they moved in?

LESSON 10--Pressure Release

In training Nitro, LeAnn taught me about the concept of pressure/release.  If I add pressure (say with my leg into his side to encourage him to side step) the moment he responds appropriately, there is an instant 'release' or 'relief' (I stop pressing my leg into his side and I praise him).  Nitro learns that HE CHOOSES and HE IS IN CHARGE of the release.  Cool concept, huh....

This translates to my life relationships.  As I reflect, and God revealed to me this concept in my life, I could see how my adding to ... in times of intense moments with men ...  has not worked.  When I added pressure in intense moments with NO RELIEF it would bring on more strife.  An example would be when a phone call was received by my husband and a suggestion to go and visit these people in another state.  He suggested, I agreed .... I got excited for the spontaneous road trip and what romance we might find along the way together ... I packed and prepared; then he got out the map and calculated how far the trip would be and started backing out of the trip.  In the past, the 'old Cindy' would have 'added pressure'...."What do you mean we aren't going, I've packed .... you said .... we haven't spent any time together ...." a barrage of words and emotion ..... Do you get the picture?

I decided (I chose) to use this concept of pressure/release in this situation.  Instead of 'adding pressure' I went against everything I have inside of me (well, at least the flesh-part of me) and I said in a soft, calm voice "what ever you think dear, just let me know" and I left the room.  Now it's his decision, not a result of a pressure-filled conversation.

Cool huh....

Oh want to know if we went?  YES!!  And we had a wonderful time.  I love my husband SO much.

Now the next training element related to this concept is; what if Nitro does NOT respond to the added pressure, what next?  LeAnn taught me to 'hold my pressure, hold my position, do not let up'.

This relates to raising children (even adult children).  Be who you are no matter their behavior, a solid rock here at home...never changing...no matter their behavior, always the same here.  Love them, but protect your marriage and your home as they grow.  Do not let up...do not cave to their demands to the point you give up your home and respect your husband's right to his home.  I hope you understand the intent of my heart here, I just know that as a mom and in a blended family; we mom's are in a position where we have tried to be the 'be all' for our children (even more in blended families, or single mom's), and as bad as this might sound, but once your kids grow up and leave (I'm talking in their 20's) there has to be a time where they have to struggle.

~The way eagles remove the comforts of the nest (like the down that so soft in the nest) so their children are encouraged to leave the 'nest' (forces independence)~

One last concept .... if Nitro gets agitated (like if the herd is running off without him) ... it's not a good idea to make him stand and force him to 'behave'.  LeAnn taught me to 'get him busy', 'change where he is looking', 'get his body moving, doing something he knows how to do to change his thinking'.  I have to say that this is something that works for me too.  How about you?